jcdedlawyer:

@pxtts

he hates jet lag, that’s for certain. there’s nothing lovelier (note the sarcasm) than getting thrown into another timezone. he’s tired, all he wants to do is get home and crawl into bed with his wife (he still can’t believe they’re married).

and finally, they’re home. he’d hadn’t missed new york traffic at all. hank pulls out his keys and opens the door, only to find lauren (who’d been dropped off by pepper’s friends earlier) and flynn lounging on the couch. flynn barks, then jumps off the couch, racing towards hank and pepper, tail wagging and whining of excitement as he paws at their legs, scurrying between them, before trying to jump on hank.

‘ ——- flynn! ’ hank exclaims. ‘ calm down, buddy. we missed you too — ’

they’re nearly knocked over by the golden that bounds towards them, whinign with excitement. flynn isn’t a big barker, which means their home is relatively peaceful. well, as peaceful as it can be between the two of them, the dog, and lauren going through her pre-teen drama. hiding her yawn behind her hand, pepper crouches down to give flynn a hug around his furry neck, also managing to pull him down from hank’s legs.

‘ hi, flynn! ’ she coos at him, before getting back up and waving lauren over.

‘ laurie, how was your vacation? ’

‘ fine. and no, dad, natasha did NOT teach me how to beat people up or anyting like that. ’

hank wraps his arms around her, hugging her close to him, seeking her warmth and wanting more comfort. a hand comes up, gently threading his fingers in her soft hair.

‘ maybe. ’ he murmurs, not wanting to dwell any further, and closes his eyes. ‘ i love you, pep. you always know what to say. ’

one of her legs hooks over his under the covers, tangling their bodies together completely. she kisses the line of his jaw before replacing her head in its spot at the crook of his neck.

‘ i love you, too. ’

‘ it’s easier said than done, baby. ’ he says softly. ‘ it’s hard because it was my fault. but it’s okay, i’ll forget about it in a few weeks. ’ at least he’ll try to.

he turns, laying on his back so he can look at her. ‘ i don’t want you to worry about me. ’ he mutters, a hand reaching up to caress her cheek.

she shifts to accomodate the change in how they’re arranged; she drapes her long body up against his side, tucking her head under his chin.

‘ i’m not saying it’s easy. it’s hard. and it takes TIME. and maybe you’ll still feel this way every year, but maybe one day you won’t mind carrying it around with you. ’

‘  though i have to admit, i make one mean lasagna. ’

‘ yes, you do. on an ENTIRELY unrelated note – we should stay in for dinner tonight. ’

jcdedlawyer:

‘  that’s probably it. ’ he murmurs, while snuggling closer to her, being careful not to accidentally kick the golden retriever curled up by their feet.

 ‘ guess i still feel guilty, after all these years. ’ he says softly, before burying his face in his pillow. and it was true. he did. even if his father had been healthy, hank had still failed. he’d failed as a son, and as attorney. his dad still went to jail, at the end of the day. the fact that he had seen his father die only made everything worse.

pepper lets him talk; it’s not often that he’s this open with her especially – about his father. pepper just listens, every so often rubbing his arm in support. she kisses the curve of his shoulder and hooks her chin over it so she can see him in the dim light of the bedroom.

‘ you’ll have to forgive yourself eventually or you’re just going to keep tearing yourself down, henry. ’

       “ i’ve got a whole list of fake names. we’ll be fine. don’t worry about it. “

‘ the perks of hanging out with someone assumed dead. ’

_{❛   i’ve never had the opportunity to personally see anything stark industries has produced until just recently.   you’ve done a good job staying ahead.   as i said, i’m impressed.   ❜}

‘ well, the starlphone V3 was just released and we’re doing pretty good so far. not that we’re TRYING to beat apple, but … it’d be a bonus. ’

pxtts:

i was talking to sam last night on skype about how i really don’t get much of a chance to write about pepper’s ptsd following what happened to her in iron man 3. i mean, in the grand scheme of things, pepper is an ordinary person. she’s a civilian. she’s an ordinary person who is surrounded by extraordinary people and situations and she’s always been able to adapt, but not without her own worries and reluctances. i’m sure it’s been four years and she STILL gets nervous when tony flies off for a mission.

but then she’s the one that’s targeted. she’s put through an incredible amount of pain, taunted by her captor, and faced with the risk that if she’s not perfect, she will DIE. think about that – extremis was highly unstable, and i’m sure maya would have told her some of what their experiments had shown. 

extremis is supposed to make her perfect, so it erases every scar she’s had on her body since she was a little kid. it heals the papercut on her thumb from last week when she’d been doing paperwork. hell, it probably dulls the constant headache she lives with day to day from the stress of everything in her life.

pepper’s life isn’t perfect. PEPPER isn’t perfect. but her life, and her body, are her own.

so when someone calls her perfect, her immediate response isn’t to say ‘oh, stop’ or wave them off.

she just tells them she isn’t, and she doesn’t WANT to be.

ever again.

because she still wakes up screaming from nightmares where the world is on fire, where she’s on fire. and even with extremis removed from her, with tony ‘fixing’ her, it doesn’t get rid of the damage it’s already done to her.

the only consolation she takes from every night terror is that it’s proving she’s not perfect anymore.

          _{❛  RIGHT you are.   ❜   a smile.    ❛  it’s about time, too.  ❜}

‘ WELL, i wouldn’t go quite so far, but i appreciate the support. ’

he laughs. ‘ really? not even because of my pretty face?  ’

‘ damn, forgot about that. how rude of me. ’

i was talking to sam last night on skype about how i really don’t get much of a chance to write about pepper’s ptsd following what happened to her in iron man 3. i mean, in the grand scheme of things, pepper is an ordinary person. she’s a civilian. she’s an ordinary person who is surrounded by extraordinary people and situations and she’s always been able to adapt, but not without her own worries and reluctances. i’m sure it’s been four years and she STILL gets nervous when tony flies off for a mission.

but then she’s the one that’s targeted. she’s put through an incredible amount of pain, taunted by her captor, and faced with the risk that if she’s not perfect, she will DIE. think about that – extremis was highly unstable, and i’m sure maya would have told her some of what their experiments had shown. 

extremis is supposed to make her perfect, so it erases every scar she’s had on her body since she was a little kid. it heals the papercut on her thumb from last week when she’d been doing paperwork. hell, it probably dulls the constant headache she lives with day to day from the stress of everything in her life.

pepper’s life isn’t perfect. PEPPER isn’t perfect. but her life, and her body, are her own.

so when someone calls her perfect, her immediate response isn’t to say ‘oh, stop’ or wave them off.

she just tells them she isn’t, and she doesn’t WANT to be.

ever again.

because she still wakes up screaming from nightmares where the world is on fire, where she’s on fire. and even with extremis removed from her, with tony ‘fixing’ her, it doesn’t get rid of the damage it’s already done to her.

the only consolation she takes from every night terror is that it’s proving she’s not perfect anymore.

‘ as much as i hate to admit it. ’ he mutters, barely audibly, even though it’s true. joseph palmer hadn’t been the greatest father, but it still hurt. it still hurt like it happened yesterday. he died right in front of him, from cancer, right after getting out of prison (from which hank failed to save him from).

he snuggles closer to her, exhaling through his nose before he speaks. ‘ his death anniversary is next week, ’ hank admits quietly. ‘ and i’ve been having the same dream these past few days. ’ 

she presses her lips to the nape of his neck, just holding there as she listens to him talk. she can hear the pain in his voice, even now. they’ve been together for this long and she still doesn’t know the entire story, about what happened with hank’s father. she only knows he died before hank moved to new york, and that they hadn’t been particularly close. really, the puzzle pieces are pretty obvious.

‘ that’s normal, i think, ’ she says softly. ‘ you’re thinking about him more and it leaks into your subconscious. ’ 

“you tell dummy that, he mutters, sighs in a put upon manner and trudges off towards the bathroom, taking the chance to change into a cleaner shirt as well before he returns. 

any other time he would have snuck up behind pepper, putting his arms around her, pulling her close. but instead he simply lingers in the doorway for a moment, refusing to let himself get disheartened and spoil their evening. “so where is this pizza i was promised?”

pepper waves a hand towards the open pizza box on the counter, wiping sauce off of the corner of her mouth. she’s still getting her appetite back, but there’s something about greasy pizza that calms her. probably because she associates it so closely with late nights with him, curled up watching a movie eating gourmet pizza and laughing at the same jokes they’ve heard a hundred times.

she misses that.

pepper pushes herself away from the counter, chewing the last piece of crust from her first slice.

“we could have a movie night? just … spend some time together?”

“yeah.” he doesn’t know what he wants, let alone what he needs. simply retreating further into himself, because he has no outlet here. 

“what do we do?” he finally asks, lifting his eyes to pepper’s, desperate for some kind of guidance. pepper’s never led him wrong before. “i’m not getting my memories back, am i?” it feels like it’s been too long, and even with nightmares terrifying him, he doesn’t remember a thing. 

pepper sighs quietly, hands wringing slightly with the uncomfortable tension between them. “i honestly don’t know, tony. i mean, it could still be too soon to say they won’t come back. there’s no guaranteed DEADLINE or anything like that. it’s just, your brain. it’s complicated.”

a lot of things are complicated.

“what do you WANT to do?” she asks him.